To Be Honest

I just still can't seem to get it together to blog as much as I had been or as much as I'd theoretically like to. Why is that? I think for a while I was dealing with the old haunting anxiety issues. And I've taken over more responsibilites around the house since Alan had been pretty swamped at work. That seems to have sapped my creative juices a bit. And then there were some sick days in there. Some time. And doing more things outside for to keep up with our White Trash Yard (as compared to the pristine yards of the neighbors). Maybe life is just getting in the way of my blogginess. And while I know there aren't RULES about blogging, I typically really like doing it and feel a bit discouraged that my heart isn't in it lately.

Perhaps this is because I am almost obsessed with the economy and job loss and financial concerns lately. And while I'm not exactly worrying about it, these things are almost constantly on my mind. A big contributor to the anxiety stuff, huh? For instance, Alan and I usually talk on the cells while he drives home. The other day during his typical drive time, I tried to call him, and he didn't answer. And I immediately thought, "I bet he's been laid off again and doesn't want to answer the phone when he sees it's me calling!" Now, of course, that is completely not what happened. But with continuing to hear of friends losing their jobs on a regular basis, and after the job issues Alan has had, I am paranoid. I immediately stopped and prayed about this. I really do believe that Satan wants me to live in fear and is feeding this stuff to me.

My job, too, is on the line for next year. While full-time contracts come out this month, part-time contracts (such as mine) will not come out until the end of May. And it hasn't been explicitly said, but it is generally thought that not all of us SLPs will be asked back next year. I am already putting out feelers, but am not getting a lot of response yet. Again, I am choosing not to live in fear about this. God knows our needs and has proven over and over - especially over the past six months - that He IS Jehovah Jirah, our Provider. It will be interesting to see where the next six months takes our family.