She's a Mean One, Mrs. Grinch

Y'all, I'm not even kidding. What in the world do you say when people ask you how your Christmas was, and what you want to answer is "the suckiest one ever" only that is so not the correct answer they want to hear?

Today I went over to my friend Sarah's house with the boys for a visit. I just lllooove me some Sarah. How refreshing to have a friend with whom you can really let your hair down. Not that there aren't others of you out there in my life, but still. Don't tell me you don't perform in front of others, too. You know, cleaning your house up before they come over and smiling on your way into church when you've just had a fight on the way there. Anyway, Sarah's just a sweetheart, so when she asked me how our Christmas was, I just laid it out on the line. And griped and complained. And self-mocked, too, so it's not like I was taking myself too, too seriously. And here's the thing: despite the commercialism of the holiday, with one of us getting sick right after another and then a darling little dog who was treating our home like one big toilet, the spiritual aspect got put on the back burner more than I would have liked, as well. Rats.

I just don't get it when people talk about "having Christmas spirit" and how Christmas is their favorite holiday, etc. Read this next sentence in a whisper voice: Julie hates Christmas. Shhh. Don't tell anybody. The past few Christmases have not been so hot around here. Two years ago, I spent the whole month so anxious that I lost ten pounds because I couldn't eat. Why was I so anxious? I. Don't. Know. Then last year Alan lost his job in mid-December, so while we made the most of it, Christmas was not as positive a holiday. And then I've already whined enough about this year's Christmas, so you get it. I finally felt well for the first time in three weeks this past Monday. Sigh. Sarah says she thinks I am being spiritually attacked during the month of December. I'll buy that. Obviously I don't hate the spiritual part of the holiday, but everything else - especially the expectations of what should be done or where I should be - are for the birds (to quote Matthew - this is his favorite idiom of late).

Every year I think, what can I do to make next Christmas easier/better? And you know, usually my answer involves doing less. And this year I did next to nothing (no church Christmas programs, no candlelight service, no work parties, no church parties, no school programs - it doesn't get more minimalist than this!), and I still couldn't wait to get it over with. Any ideas?