Fourth Snake of the Season (although it may be #3 again)

Julie relating Kelly's side of the story:

Julie said, "Let's go see what the boys are doing down at the creek...wow...those weeds really start to take over the beds after a year of not doing anything to them, huh?" To which I replied, "Are you kidding me? You mean there is actually a bed there and not just a healthy crop of poison ivy?" Whew! I'd forgotten what North Carolina summers are like with this humidity and instant mosquito bites. I'm so used to my perfectly cool and humidity-free summer weather that we have in Ohio The Land of Perfect Summers. As we walked down the hill, I noticed something moving through one of Julie's many, many poison ivy beds. At first I thought it was a lizard and pointed out to Julie that I just saw a black lizard scurry into the poison ivy. Of course, when she turned to look, she couldn't see a thing. Who could with all that itchy stuff taking over? But she still questioned what I saw. Was I sure it was a lizard? Could it be a black snake? Does she think I don't know a scaly lizard scamper from a slimy snake slither? I mean, I know all I ever have in my backyard are cute baby bunnies and sparrows that nest in my front porch light, and she has rabid raccoons and psycho squirrels and poopy bats, but still. Julie grabbed my arm, practically hurling me into that nasty itchy stuff all to prove her point. She can be so pushy sometimes, you know? But, she was right which just proves that she's lived here too long if she can identify her wild-life without seeing it. That snake was really long. So long that we couldn't even see all of it since most of it was hiding in the, you know, poison ivy. She told me that there was a "Black Racer" outside her dining room window the other day, so possibly this is the same one. I don't know what's worse when you are her house guest: thinking that this snake is stalking her house or that there are multiple snakes out there just waiting for you...

Now the real version from yours truly:

"Kelly," I said, as we meandered down the beautifully manicured lawn, "Let us enjoy the glorious beauty of the late afternoon! Let us take delight in the warmth of the fragrant summer air! Let us satisfy our senses with the vision of the lush vegetation and peaceful drone of the insect!" "Yes, let's!" she cried in glee. "And hopefully, we can encounter a bit of nature's most delicate wildlife as we saunter down this emerald path. You do have such whimsical woodland creatures residing near your domicile. I do so wish I was as fortunate!" And lo and behold, this treasured wish was brought to fruition! At just that moment, Kelly cried, "Hark! What do my eyes behold, but the sleek darting of the Mabuya Quinquetaeniata [you know, Latin for Five-Lined Skink]! Oh glimpse, if you dare, the beauty, the agility, the vitality of this amazing creature!" But you know, I am quite accustomed to the fauna of the wilderness in which I dwell. Of course, the Coluber Constrictor Constrictor [to the layman, also known as the Black Racer Snake] is another welcome visitor to the Casey property, and I questioned if this might be the reptilian beast in view. While Kelly dissented with this possibility, she was promptly corrected with a quick glimpse behind the stalwart pine. "Oh, what joy! What bliss!" Kelly exclaimed. "What indescribable pleasure to have been granted the vision of this undulating viper! My life is complete to have shared the mystique of this remarkable sylvan serpent with my dearest confidante."

* Which is why I'm packing it into Kelly's suitcase to take home as a souvenir. *